I fell. Fast and hard. I’m not even sure why. It started with the fudge square I had resisted on the return Dallas trip. Then I needed a sandwich as I sought out protein, then on to finish off the ice cream. Then the chocolate Christmas trees became irresistible. Was I craving energy from the lack of sleep of waking up to a sick and feverish son? Maybe it was the white bread, i read somewhere it can cause a craving for sweets. Was it that I was frustrated I couldn’t ever get in a run as I kept watch over my son’s fever that seemed to return on the hour? Maybe it’s because it’s my time of the month? Or maybe, I can find any excuse so long as I choose to look for one. I couldn’t go 2 days, how can I go a lifetime? I feel like a failure, like I suck, like I will never get out of my own way. That was yesterday, today is new, I get another chance to begin again.
I may be down, but I’m not out
I just need time to settle the score
You knocked me down, but u haven’t won
I’ve come back fighting for more.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy
But damn u know just how to bring me down.
You know my weakness and my hurts
And just how to make me drown.
But that last gasp wasn’t my last
As I come back struggling for breath
You may have pinned me to the mat
But I refuse to give up or relent.
Round one to u, crippling despair,
For bringing me to my knees
But I must crawl before I can stand
The next round will be my victory.